Thursday, March 18, 2010

Drunk Guy Update

So I was out rollerblading with Bear on this glorious 60 degree day and I passed by Drunk Guy's house again. Lo and behold, I see him and his pup, Elle, sitting in their front yard. He sees us coming and says, "Come on up here!" What's the first thing I notice? He's got a Budweiser in his hand. Big shocker there. He's slurring his speech and kinda stumbling around. So the dogs greet each other (they love each other) and he proceeds to talk my ear off for the next 15 minutes. Here are a few things I learned about good ol' Bob:

He's 62 years old.
He fought in Vietnam.
He's retired.
He is divorced but was married to his wife for 30 years.
He didn't want the divorce, but she did.
He has three kids, 2 girls and a boy. The boy is a civil engineer. One of his girls is a teacher in the Scottsdale School district in Arizona. The other is an art student.
His wife is a very smart lady and graduated magna cum laude from St. Scholastica (a "very prestigious college").
He got Elle from his son and daughter-in-law when they moved to Hawaii. You see, it would have cost them $2000 to fly here to HI, so he took her instead. They paid $20 for her at the shelter.
He has no idea what kind of dog she is.
She is very gun shy so he can't take her hunting.
4th of July is really hard for her because of the noise from the fireworks. She hides downstairs under the bench and although she's really sweet, she'll try to bite him if he tries to pull her out.
Elle loves big dogs, the bigger the better.
One of his daughters has a jack russell that he took care of for 2 years because it was too wild for his dtr to handle. He did all sorts of training with it, took it for walks everyday, but it never really calmed down because those jack russells are just so "headstrong".
Elle is fixed, but if she wasn't, and if Bear wasn't, those two would go at it and he'd "bust her bones" like crazy. *He then spent about 5 minutes talking about dog sex. Apparently he has a friend that breeds some kind of dog and charges $1000 for the pups, but he was going to be able to get one for about $600.
Since Elle is too afraid to go hunting, he wants to get another dog. He can get a "pointer lab" for about $400. It would be the runt of the litter but that's ok.
He delivered two babies when he was in Vietnam. Apparently two Vietnamese women went into labor during an explosion and he had to deliver the babies. But he said he didn't have to do much work, the women did most of it. This conversation led to another about having kids. He said it's the greatest thing ever and watching a baby being born is amazing. He asked me if I had kids, and when I said no, he told me I should get going on that. "Bloomington needs more kids. They are our future. This old guy isn't." First he said I should have 5, I said no, that's too many. He said a couple would be fine. He told me that there's a lot of guys out there that are no good, but if my husband is a good guy, then we should have kids because he'd take responsibility and help me raise them. He proceeded to tell me about 6 times that I need to get going on having kids. Then he said I should have 20. He gave me his permission to start trying.
He also told me about 15 times how sweet his dog is. "Have you ever met a dog this sweet?" He also told me how handsome Bear is (well, he really is).
So all this time I'm slowly trying to work my way to the street to continue our rollerblading. This dude was completely oblivious to my body language and continued to talk to me as I'm wheeling away.
So there's your update. Aren't you glad you know so much about Bob too? He had absolutely no idea that we met a couple summers ago or that I came into his house a few months ago and woke his drunk ass up. Life sure is entertaining sometimes, isn't it?

Happy Spring, everyone!